Bloggers don't feel like reading, this is just ramblings or journaling from a bored girl! :)
I don't know if it is the lack of Sun and or Vitamin D or a mixture of just being overwhelmed today...but I am so down in the dumps! I think I have cleaned up messes ten times, yet it still looks the same now. I try and forget about it, yet it makes me more frustrated. I want to spend time with each child, yet someone is always left out. (Teething baby, means usually the older children.) I have had phone calls, play dates, friends have come over...the kids playing fine...yet I am still down! Doesn't help that my husband whom I could REALLY talk to right now, will be working late! :( My go to mom lives in AZ in the winter also! :( Do you have days like this? Or is it just me?! My first instinct is to tear up and then go to the pantry and EAT junk! Of course that does no good, and I feel like I have had no energy either to work out! Winter time slows me down so much. When will I ever lose this baby belly? Of course baby was SOO worth it, and such a joy, yet the extra wiggle in the tum tum bothers! I have never been much of an exerciser, so having to get off my tuff and not depend only on my metabolism stinks! Waa waa..I know! I am dumb! I bug myself sometimes! I can just say, I dislike winter to the core! Summer is such a wonderful season...and I seriously could DEAL well with it ALL year! I LOVE Cache Valley but that part is a big time downer...especially this year! One nice thing about winter is being able to read! I have had a goal of reading all of the Ensigns from cover to cover...and that sure helps to feel good! A LOT! I love the words and teachings of our leaders and prophets. What wonderful teachings we can all learn from these words and strive to be like. Prayers are also very helpful when feeling down in the dumps. I love my Heavenly Father so much! I wish I turned to him more! I do often, but should so much more! Why is it so hard to sometimes admit I can't do it alone...and just get down on my knees!? He is there for me no matter what! He is so loving, so forgiving, no matter how dumb we can be. Why can't we be more like that!? Why do I dwell on stuff? Even the small stuff?? Why does it matter that the kids trashed the house, the syrup spilt all over the newly mopped floor, the baby just spit up all over a new outfit, the kids yelling all day everyday (no idea what indoor voices are), the dinner turned out and tasted like dog food, my hair looks like crap...and I look like I have aged 10 years since the kids! The kids keep giving and getting the same illness' over and over again...I haven't been out of the house in days!! Plus much much more. These things don't matter in the long run! I have a family whom I love with all of my heart! I am so blessed and I can't express the fun we have together on a daily basis. Even days of feeling dumpy! With this up coming move, I get scared of the unknown. Who wouldn't? I am sure in the long run, it will be fine. Even better for us, I know it will be! I dislike change though, but knowing that I can take my family with me, where ever we go...helps loads! Friends come and go, but family is our rock! My rock! The only people that love unconditionally, trust fully, and will stick with you through thick and thin and not judge you for your imperfections! Those would be and only are my little family of boys and my Savior! Change is okay! I have everything I need! Them! Why am I down? I dunno, but writing this all down made the tears go away...and made me realize I am strong. I can do this. I can do hard things, and have bad days...and still walk with my head up! People can judge me wrongly, but I will be okay! :)
5 years ago